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After being a parent, I realised I have to wear more than one hat. As the children get older, my hats get bigger and tougher to put on. Their needs become stronger, so do their emotions. The level of handling their needs and emotions getting higher every year just like our cost of living. Yes, it just went higher and it never come down.
Last night, my boy came home from school looking really sad. I asked him why and he told me about his incident in school.
“Teacher has instructed me to write down names of students who do not sit properly in class. I wrote a classmate’s name down and that classmate got angry, screamed at me and he said he will no longer be my friend anymore.”
- A tight hug and a deep breath
I gave him a tight hug and told him to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. That calmed him down a lot.
- “I can cope…” “I’m okay”
Using words to calm him down further. As much as I would like to throw him loads of advices to help him solve his problems. I stopped myself. I would rather he learns to calm down himself and think about how he can solve this problem if it happens again.
- React to it…bravely…
Running away from problems won’t solve your problems. React to it and face it bravely. Of course, not the kind of brave where your child walk right up to the other person and challenged him/her. Brave in a sense that he/she will face the problem, try to solve it and not running away from it which later leads to worrying all the time. Definitely, this part will require some help from the parents.
The 3 steps above may sound and look simple but is not easily applied. It takes time. Albeit I’m always reminding him, he doesn’t really apply the above all the time. I still do “routine” checks on my boy. But I believe in my child. I believe one fine day, he will stand up tall and straight with confident and with the ability to cope with tough times.