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Cultivating siblings love

Parents with more than 1 child in the family, bet you know how challenging it is to raise them. Why? Because they always FIGHT!

Yes and I really mean FIGHT! They fight for
– food
– seats
– attention
– who goes first
– who goes last
– who drinks more or less
Basically, they fight for anything and everything and things you can’t even imagine can fight for.

Why do they fight? Because
– they love it
– they find it fun
– they have nothing better to do
– they are SIBLINGS!

It’s tough and the house will becomes a war zone whenever they fight. My house is always a war zone, by the way. No matter how hard they fight, how often they fight, it will always creates an opportunity for them to love each other as well.

Do you know that fighting creates an opportunity for them to find ways to solve a problem, in other words, finding solution to their problem? They may have conflict in one way or the other and they have to learn to resolve this conflict among themselves. We, as parents, do not need to be always there to help them, however in some situations we may need to step in to guide them on how to solve it. We will need to be their referee and that’s when we teach them about siblings love as well.

Cultivating siblings love can be as easy as 123 or/and as difficult as nailing jelly to a tree. There are 3 most basic skills I want them to learn about and cultivate siblings love.

1. Respect
No matter how much you hate each other during the fight. They are expected to respect each other’s feelings and bodies. No physical actions, no vulgarities, no forcing, no calling of names.

2. Help each other as much as they can
Whenever opportunities arise for them to help each other, I will definitely encourage them to do so. If one needs help, the other should try to help as much as he/she can. No comparing of who help more. This action will encourage them to take care of each other and be considerate to each other.

3. Creating positive family environment
As a parent, always show fairness. No preferences among the siblings. All are your children, shouldn’t you love them all the same? Praise them when they are nice to each other. Positive feelings make them feel good. Of course, not over doing it. We have to be sensitive to the children’s feelings as well.

Parenting is never easy. No one said it is easy anyway. We grow together with our children and we learn about each other everyday. If there are days where you find it too tough to handle, just take a breather. Stay calm, be positive and be patience because they learn from us too.

This Post Has 16 Comments

  1. Am actually very thankful that my 2 girls get along really well. They do fight sometimes, but most times they really enjoy each other’s company and spend loads of time playing make-believe and chatter happily non-stop! Agree that we need to maintain an environment of fairness!

    1. That’s great, Lyn! Both my kids have good and bad times. Is like a roller coaster. Sometimes they are so sweet to each other you cannot take it but sometimes they are like the worst enemy ever…. *headache*

  2. 3wheelingtots

    A simple yet so true – post on siblings love. Thanks for this post, as it helps me give a minute of self-reflection on my kids’ fight for “everything” (it happened just yesterday!) and yet their love for “each other” never stops too ! 🙂

    1. Yeah…there’s always good and bad times. At the end of the day, they are still siblings 😉

  3. I’d rather see kids fight and communicate than ignore one another and go off to do their own thing 😛 good tips on how to handle the fights though!

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

    1. Haha…ya agree with that! Just that when mummy is busy and they are fighting non stop, it can really drive mummy up the wall!

  4. Fighting is inevitable and children can learn a lot from it like how to handle emotions, how to apologize after the fight, etc. Us parents just need to guide them on how to avoid frequent bickering. I do encourage my kids to spend quality bonding time to get them closer, esp that they have big age gap. I agree with all the basic skills you shared.

    Cherry @

    1. Yep…fighting is a good chance to teach and learn about emotions, learn about forgiving and learn about negotiating skills as well. 😉
      Lots of things to learn even from a fight!

  5. Good tips. When they fight, I tend to stand back and let them resolve their conflict by themselves. Sometimes it’s interesting to watch how easily they make up and move on.

    1. Same for me! Sometimes we even get to learn from them on how to resolve issue 😉

  6. Siblings are the best friends God gave us. Agree how important it is to cultivate that positive family environment where they learn to give, take and love unconditionally.

  7. Thankfully, my kids don’t fight much (fingers crossed!!) but I believe that friendly fighting keeps the sibling bonds alive. As parents, we just have to make sure that these cheeky bantering doesn’t develop into a full-grown hatred. Keeping a positive family environment definitely helps.

  8. Totally feel you! My baby gal still young but my elder boy already fighting… with my gal…

  9. My kids also fight a lot and that’s actually so much fun! Love multiplies though such fights I believe.

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